Tuesday, 21 August 2012

I'm Not Jennifer Saunders

That’s right, I’m not Jennifer Saunders and neither are you (unless you are. In which case hello and I’m sorry that this blog isn’t about you. I’m a huge fan, but I’m not Jennifer Saunders. You are). I’m Hayley Sherman. I’m a writer and I do things for other writers for money. I write novels about people who have a questionable grasp on reality, which can lead to questions about my own handle on the subject, but one thing is definitely for certain – I’m not Jennifer Saunders and this I have to tell myself often.

You may wonder about the relevance of Jennifer Saunders in all this. Well, in truth we all have a Jennifer Saunders and mine came into my life when I was a child. She was in French and Saunders and Girls on Top and then came Absolutely Fabulous and she rocked my world. I would watch the videos over and over again until I could recite the words and dazzle my friends who would always get them wrong. I’d tape interviews on the TV and cut out articles about her and sometimes I’d find that my mouth would move the way hers does or I’d say something and sound a bit like her. Jennifer was my Beatles and Elvis Presley. She was my Bros and Boyzone… But then I grew up. I put away my playthings, got jobs and relationships. I went into the big wide world, put Jennifer in a cupboard and only pulled her out when there was a slump. She was strictly reserved for bad days and sick days. She would make me feel a little better and then I’d be off again.

Did I mention that I want to live in a narrowboat? In fact, I want two narrowboats, one in England and one abroad. I want to slosh about in little canals and write strange and unusual prose. I want to meet the oddly shaped neighbours and share stories of a mystical past. I want to sit on the stickyouty bit on the end of my boat with my feet sending out ripples and gulp at the night air. I don’t want to be being Jennifer Saunders at this time in my life, but she’s crept back in. There was the illness then the breakup. Then there was the move to a shared house (my parent’s house!). Then there was the day my back exploded and I bought the entire Jennifer Saunders back catalogue to help me recover from the surgery. The family drama, the friends moving on without me, the view from my little boxroom window at a world that’s got smaller and smaller, time stretching out endlessly behind and in front of me.
But no more!
I will not be Jennifer Saunders!
I will not watch another episode as long as there is great fiction to be read and written. I am a clean slate, a recovering Jennifer Saunders, poised to waltz not wallow, and I invite you to share my journey into the written word, the spoken life and the world of endless possibilities.
In advance, my new friend, I would like to thank you for accompanying me on my voyage. Leave me a comment. Say hello. I can tell already that you’re a real sweetie, darling.

Diazepam for Sale, the debut novel by Hayley Sherman is now available on Amazon
Time travel as a cure for depression, the Mods and Rockers on the West Pier, a vengeful Sat Nav lady, a seagull-stalked Frank Sinatra and Diazepam for sale... 
A fairytale for a prozac nation...
Fiction for a world that doesn't behave the way it should....


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  1. Hullo, there!

    Enjoy the trip. Hope the winds are in your sails!

  2. Hi! Great name!
    Getting more and more blowy everyday!
    Thanks x