Showing posts with label success. Show all posts
Showing posts with label success. Show all posts

Monday, 17 September 2012

Sing-Along-a-Novel



Very quick blog because it’s Monday and I have a mountain of proper, grown-up work to do. But there I was watching Downton Abbey last night and enjoying wonderful lines like, ‘I say, have you done something jolly with your hair?’ and then came the adverts and the planned dash to the loo and kettle. But there was to be no wee and tea; I couldn’t move for the Fifty Shades of Grey: The Soundtrackness of it all. It’s a book and it’s a soundtrack. Am I missing something? It’s a book and it’s a soundtrack? It’s not music lifted from a film. It’s a book and it’s a soundtrack.

My first thought was that E.L. James can’t possibly have big enough pockets to hold all of the cash that this latest housewife masturbation aid is going to rake in for her. Then I got to thinking that this is über-cool. This is a book that’s so big that it can sell an album. Reading is huge at the moment. People are swallowing books like M&Ms (admittedly, this one is more like S&Ms) and are still hungry for more. Books are taking over the world one at a time and where there are ideas there is music. So, if it’s good enough for E.L. James, it’s good enough for me. Ahead of my first novel release, here is the soundtrack:

Diazepam for Sale: The Musical

Jesus Doesn’t Want Me for a Sunbeam... Nirvana
Fugitive Motel... Elbow
The Importance of Being Idle... Oasis
Grey Gardens... Rufus Wainright
Creep... Radiohead
I am the Walrus... The Beatles
I Want to be a Hippy... Technohead
I Could Be Happy... Altered Image
Twisted... Skunk Anansie
Anarchy in the UK... Sex Pistols
Oh! You Pretty Thing... David Bowie
Uprising... Muse
Run Baby Run... Sheryl Crow
Lazy Sunday... The Small Faces
212... Azealia Banks
Chop Suey... System of a Down
I Hate You So Much Right Now... Kelis
Jesus Doesn’t Want me for a sunbeam (again!)... Nirvana

Love it!

If you’ve got a book, give it a go and let me know how you get on.
Now, back to work!




   
 
Diazepam for Sale, the debut novel by Hayley Sherman is now available on Amazon
 
Time travel as a cure for depression, the Mods and Rockers on the West Pier, a vengeful Sat Nav lady, a seagull-stalked Frank Sinatra and Diazepam for sale... 
A fairytale for a prozac nation...
Fiction for a world that doesn't behave the way it should....

www.hayley-sherman.co.uk  





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Sunday, 16 September 2012

How to Rule the World from your Sofa



Picture the scene: a woman is meditating with her husband. This has become regular practice for them since they visited a spiritual guide who told them that they were gifted and would be introduced to their own spirit guide in another realm. They’re just getting their trance on and suddenly, the woman’s head starts to shift about the place in sharp tics as if a swarm of bees has found its way in through her ear. Her head’s really going for it and might spin off at any second, but her husband, rather than trying to wake her or calling an ambulance, grabs a pen and paper and starts to write. Yes, it’s all okay; she’s obviously just spelling out words from another realm with her nose. Who wouldn’t spot that?! And so begins their communication with ‘Abraham’, their guide to all worldly knowledge via the medium of the nose.

How wonderful! I love a good yarn. But this is not fantasy; this is the opening chapter of Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. In fact, this is the only section of the book that is written by the pair; the rest comes directly from Abraham who takes control of Esther’s laptop hands to deliver his message to the world.

As you can see from my telling of the story, I’m a little cynical, but the wonderful thing about this book is that it doesn’t matter whether you think they’ve misplaced their marbles or you believe every word; the imparted wisdom is life-changing, exciting, liberating and – above all – realistic.

Let me take a step back from Ask and It Is Given to give you a bit of background. I’ve become a little jaded in my experience of Law of Attraction books, mostly because they make me believe that I’m superwoman and when I try to fly out of the window I inevitably hit the ground. Take The Secret by Rhonda Byrne for example; I have the DVD and the book and I do actually think that the teachings are quite wonderful. If you’re not familiar, the Law of Attraction teaches us that we can have or be anything in the universe that we can possibly imagine – you are in complete control of your life, ask and it shall be delivered, you can run the world from your sofa, etc. etc. Draw a load of noughts on a £10 note, look at it every day, visualise your hands gripping the steering wheel of your new car and the universe will fill your order. Picture yourself as a rockstar and Simon Cowell will randomly knock on your door if you focus on him enough. Wonderful! I’m not saying that any of this is wrong. I 100% believe in the Law of Attraction, but I also believe that some of us have a resistance to receiving. It’s the ‘I can’t do that’, ‘I’m not worthy’, ‘I’ll never have that’. We all have self-defeating behaviours and thoughts, and as wonderfully zingy as The Secret is, it doesn’t cover this in enough depth.

The idea is that we are all energy; everything has a vibration and we need to vibrate at the same frequency as the things we desire to receive them, as if we’re all radios setting ourselves to the right channel. The challenge, as I see it, is that if you’ve spent your whole life broadcasting on ‘Can’t-afford-my-bus-fare-this morning-Hope-there’s-a-special-at-McDonalds-for-lunch FM’, it’s not that easy to switch to ‘fuck-the-bus-Caviar-for-dinner FM’. If you’re a gloomfest of depression, it’s unlikely that you can paint a smile on your chops and suddenly see yourself running through the daisies.

So, back to our friend Abraham. He knows that most of us have had a go at being superheroes and have given up when our tights split. He knows that we believe in the theory and have seen examples of the universe acting on our whim and he wants to help us harness that, gradually and realistically. So, he offers an emotional scale so you can see where you are and where you would like to be and you can take the steps to advance up the levels. You can travel up through ‘Things-are-kind-of-okay FM’ onto ‘Actually-the-world-looks-pretty-amazing-this-morning FM’ until you’re transmitting on the exact frequency of your heart’s innermost desires.  

For me, personally, I’m a ridiculously positive person and usually walk around with a stupid grin on my face, but my life circumstances haven’t quite caught up with the inner joy that I naturally have. It’s amazing that I still feel the glowy warmth of just being me after a year that could diplomatically be labelled ‘interesting’. But there are things that I want (more business, writing success, filthy wodges of cash, a leg that moves without quite as much persuasion, smiles for my dad, good times with my friends, to see amazing sights around the world, a beautiful home, a narrowboat, to always have great ideas). The exercises in the book make me feel that these things are possible for me. We don’t need to drive at full speed towards our desires only to give up when we hit a tree of resistance. We can remove the trees before we start out and then go spinning off into the sunset. My problem has always been that I’m too content and chilled out. If I’ve got a few quid in my pocket and a roof over my head then you’ll probably see me smiling, but there is more out there for me and that wierdie, Abraham, is holding my hand now. I’m expanding every day, ready to receive what is rightfully mine. I can have it all and be all of the things that I want to be. I can do anything, go anywhere, live any life I choose and one day – *rubs hands together in a way that is a little sinister* – I will rule the world from my sofa.




   
 
Diazepam for Sale, the debut novel by Hayley Sherman is now available on Amazon
 
Time travel as a cure for depression, the Mods and Rockers on the West Pier, a vengeful Sat Nav lady, a seagull-stalked Frank Sinatra and Diazepam for sale... 
A fairytale for a prozac nation...
Fiction for a world that doesn't behave the way it should....

www.hayley-sherman.co.uk  





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Saturday, 8 September 2012

The Accidental Cat



I wanted to buy my mum a present. I had had major surgery on my back and she had made all my meals, brought me bowls of water to wash with, listened to me whinge and kept me company. It had to be special. It had to be big.
‘What about an adorable little kitten?’ my sister suggested.
‘Aw! She’d love that.’ That was my niece.
‘Go on, Hayley. Get a kitten. Get a kitten. Get a kitten!’
I’ve always thought that cats are a bit pointless. My dad’s not fond of them either and we’ve already got a dog. But as they banged on about what a hero I’d be if I got my mum an adorable little kitten I started to do that thing that never, ever works out for me. I pushed my instincts out the window and started to get on board with the idea. Hours later, the tiniest creature I’ve ever seen turned up on our doorstep with all of its belongings, ready to move in. I sat it in the palm of my hand, thrust it in front of my mum, ready to bask in the glory (she’s a crier. The gift is good if she cries), but there were no tears, just this kind of guarded appreciation that said, ‘That’s nice dear, but what were you thinking?’

And what was I thinking? Dad went nuts, throwing ultimatums all over the place, as if I’d brought a pet turd into the house and he was supposed to keep it in his pocket all day. And once he’d been appeased there was the logistics of the thing. The only place that she could realistically stay was in my room. With me. With me!

Oh the humanity! She shits and squawks and has torn my arms and legs to bits with her devil claws. I just don’t understand why people would choose to have one? They’re like toys that you can’t switch off. And she doesn’t listen. She walks on my laptop when I’m trying to write and crawls on my head first thing in the morning because she’s hungry. I’ve never crawled on any one’s head because I’m hungry. It’s just not reasonable behaviour. But anyway, I’m just her lodgings. I’m determined that she’s not my cat and I chuck her in the direction of my mum any opportunity I get. But then my mum chucks her back like she’s a feline hot potato.
‘She’s missing her mummy.’
‘You’re her mummy, Mum.’
‘But she obviously likes you more than me.’
And now my mum’s sad because the cat’s bonded with me, although I spend all my time cursing it and hoping it will escape out of the window.
‘Anyway, look at the state of her.’
I look. She looks like she’s been drowned because the whole time she was downstairs our dog’s been treating her like an ice-lolly and then I start to curse my mum for not taking good enough care of her and I get a towel and dry her and give her mummy cuddles.
Bloody thing!




   
 
Diazepam for Sale, the debut novel by Hayley Sherman is now available on Amazon
 
Time travel as a cure for depression, the Mods and Rockers on the West Pier, a vengeful Sat Nav lady, a seagull-stalked Frank Sinatra and Diazepam for sale... 
A fairytale for a prozac nation...
Fiction for a world that doesn't behave the way it should....

www.hayley-sherman.co.uk  





ENJOYED THE BLOG? 
Tell your friends by clicking one of the sharey icons below. 
Enjoyed the blog enough to get some sheep action going? 
Follow me on FACEBOOK and TWITTER